i am freaking out right now

I AM FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW! it is raining quite hard in seoul. it is the evening. it is hot and humid. because it is raining, i have not left my apartment much today as i don't like being rained on. did i mention that i am freaking out? i opened the door to my barred, six foot long, one foot wide balcony to enjoy the a bit of fresh air, maybe see the outside world... and i did. and it was looking back at me. and i am freaking out. i don't even know how to describe it. it looked like two long curved wires were sticking out from the side of the building. i had never seen wire there before. they were antennae. they as long as my fingers. i freaked out. i slid the door shut. stood there for awhile. decided i must be wrong. bugs don't get that big. not big enough to have 4 inch antennae. i slid the door open a little. i kept my face very close to the door so my head wouldn't block the light. they twitched. at me. jebus christonacrunch theytwitchedatme...urg...guh...gak... i slammed the door shut. this happened 30 minutes ago. i have been looking at the door every five minutes and shivering. i am not going to be able to go to sleep tonight. i am going to be thinking all night about what was on the other side of that wall- can it open doors? is that shadow moving? what sound does a giant, mutant roach from outer space make as it comes to lay eggs inside your brain? i am freaking out. i mean, really, everybody's seen it- that first guy who gets killed because he doesn't realize the dude lurching towards him is a zombie. that person who just knows there's no such things as werewolves, and that howl was probably just some dog. that the lights going out during the night is just bad luck and not the work of some masked guy who has a grudge against underage drinking and promiscuous teenagers. they all end up dead. why can't they just admit something freaky is happening? why do people have to wait for it to happen a few times before they decide that they should be careful. there is no way i am going to be the first person to die in the great evil bug rebellion of '08. i am going to sit back, lock the door, and go to bed tonight with a frying pan and the biggest phonebook i can find. and tomorrow, i'm going to check the news for reports of crazy bug deaths before i go out. yes, i am freaking out--- but i'm not the one the audience will throw popcorn at the screen at because i "went in there"

Uneventful June

with the exception of a particularly long, drawn out week last week, june was fairly uneventful. i did see m. night shamaylan's "the happening"... man... just man...
i mean i was right on the edge:
6th sense: ++
unbreakable:+
signs:+/-
the village:-
lady in the water:--

as you can see from my matter o' fact chart there, shamaylan had, despite a great outset, had broken even. this was the tie-breaker. is he good, but in a rut? is he a lucky hack? what a tie-breaker it was, too! no more, mr. director! no more, please! i'm done with his movies. my god! this was another in a long line of movies these past two years to have "anti" sub-text, for lack of a better term, it had super-text. yes, i am an english major snob who thinks he knows everything about characterization and story telling mechanics, but it's not like i have anything against exposition, as such. it's a really useful tool that lets the reader or viewer in on the rules of the game. ...still, there are ways to do it without actually seeming like you're doing it. showing and not telling, for example works wonderfully in books. now i realize movies are designed for showing so maybe that device gets over used. well, that's where subtext comes in; a verbal kind of showing. the character says something, he might even believe it, but the reader or viewer (from their vantage point) sees this really says something else about the character. subtext at its best can show a divergence between the author and the narrator. so:

a show character will in some non-verbal way convey that he is angry
an expository character will say "i am angry"
a subtext character will say "gee, those there flowers sure are nice" (randomly) and the viewer knows he's angry because they read between the lines

so that brings us to "the happening" (and "the brave one" "d-war" "revenge of the sith" to name a few others) where the characters make comments that are supposed to be subtextual and deep... but they're not (the characters or the comments). they, at best, just tell us what is happening in a shallow way. but with these films, it's more than that- either the actors, writers, or directors were unwilling or unable to reach that core emotion and are trying to imply that they have (think padmae's "you're breaking my heart!"). thus supertext: when a character that should be angry, though very clearly is not, states either explicitly or implicitly that he is angry though, once again, he clearly is not. this movie was chalk full of that.
so, let me very clearly state that "i will never be suckered into seeing one of shamaylan's movies again", as well as "the ribbed crow flies north by northeast" as i shake my fist to the heavens to the backdrop of thunder and lightning.... can't be more clear than that.

let's answer the questions this picture conjures up in order
1) oh yeah, that's a handlebar
2) yup, that's a hooters' t-shirt
3) those aren't korean prostitutes, just some girls from work dressed up as adjumas
4) adjumas are mean old korean ladies
5) oh yes, there is a hooters in korea, 2 in fact, and they seem to be the only place to get a dill pickle in the whole country

ok, so these girls from work tell me about a 'bad taste' party they are having on saturday. i realize i can be kind of a hermit sometimes so i say sure, i'll go. that's when the idea hit me for shaving like that, plus it's starting to get hot here. and what a bad taste party it was, i even got to see a very pregnant woman drink beer all night. now i thought shaving was showing commitment to the party, but she took it to the next level...



let's call this one "just about to realize that it's 5 in the morning" yup, right after that i booked it for home. i was shocked to see the sky was already starting to lighten. ugh. fortunately my 5 korean words were just enough to get the cabbie to take me to the 7-11 right by my house.

several years ago i saw a wonderful movie called battle royale. i strongly recommend it. it's basically a japanese lord of the flies meets stephen king's the long walk (both of which i also highly recommend). set in an alternate present, the japanese government randomly selects a ninth grade class and puts them on an 10 sq km island. the children are told by their former 7th grade teacher that they have to fight til one remains by the end of the 3rd day or they all die as their collars will explode. each child is given food, water, a map, and a weapon (random from uzis and shotguns down to pot lids and a paper fan (though the kid with the paper fan quickly upgrades)). of course the kids go ape-shit on each other. despite some peacenicks and conscientious objectors, it turns into a splatter fest. all in all, a tremendous movie.

i bring this up because i recently downloaded it to watch again to see how it held up. you know: some movies get better after a few years, some movies lose their sparkle. i remember watching it the first time and being deeply involved with the teenage characters, wondering who got what they deserved or who got the short end of the stick. the second time around was just as good, but the strange thing was i felt a switch in my sympathies toward the evil teacher. good lord, if i had kids like that i'd ship them off to an island too! as i was watching it there was some serious whatyacallit- some kind of displaced rage violence fantasy going on. sad to say, the teacher didn't win...sigh for that poor misunderstood bastard. probably due to my job, this time when i watched the movie, i didn't notice the mistakes the kids made, i noticed the mistakes the teacher made.
one last thing,:



so i guess freud moonlighted as an architect in seoul...and how!