this kind of dirty just don't wash off

the tittle of this blog was going to be "i finally whored myself out" but i realized as i was talking to a friend last night that whores get paid... i did it for free. i'm like that person who sleeps with anybody to validate theirself, and never stops to wonder why nobody ever calls them back b/c they are already onto sleeping with the next person to make theirself feel better. sigh, my boss (actually my director asked me for the principal b/c i guess the principal is still mad at me for bringing up the fact that she isn't paying me for 27 teaching blocks a month (i teach for about 55 minutes a day for free(which i guess makes me even more of a slut))) ask me to write a 110-150 word piece to help recruit new teachers. i said yes because i like being helpful, but man, while i was writing it i kept saying to myself "man, i can't say that!!! oh shit, that's not true..." so i had to walk that fine line of telling the truth and not making this seem like YBM Gangnam is crappy place to work, trying to make faults look like selling points. i came up with lines like "the administration and parents take an active interest in the daily happenings of class" "the administration is open to receiving concerns that arise on the job and at home" and my favorite "with 5 months left on my contract, I find myself wanting to stay in South Korea for at least another year". what all these really said were a) parents will bitch when kids don't learn something well enough and also bitch when you leave the syllabus to spend more time on something they are having a hard time with, b) yes, you can go and talk to administrators about problems kids are having in class, problems with your contract not being fulfilled, and problems with the housing they provide you, and they will politely listen to you-- just don't expect anything to actually happen, and c)yes i want to stay in korea for another year, but i mention nothing about wanting to stay with YBM or even in seoul.
please, god, if they use my letter to try to lure some sap into this farce of a school, please let him/her be able to read between the lines and take none of what i say for granted. and please, people, if you see a letter entitled "dear prospective teachers" with the above lines in it and signed "sincerely, luke reschly"- politely finish your interview, stand up, put on your coat, flip them the biggest bird you can while shouting "suck on that" and run.
sincerely,
luke reschly

I don't care if this makes me king dork

i am fucking proud of this, and yes, i know it's ever so nerdy to post a chess game but damn it, i am proud of this game. it's just the way he fell apart at the end!!! moves 8-10 are where he fucked up (the trade left him with doubled pawns(the bad kind)), just a little wrong move that i sat on and sat on and sat on till he just came apart at the seems-- I loved evey minute of it.
[Date "2007.11.15"]
[Round ""]
[White "luke"]
[Black "Seb"]
[TimeControl "1800"]
[Result "1-0"]
[ECO "oft"]

1.d4 Nf6 2.Nf3 e6 3.Bg5 h6
4.Bxf6 Qxf6 5.e3 Be7 6.Nc3 Bb4
7.a3 Ba5 8.b4 Bb6 9.Na4 Nc6
10.Nxb6 axb6 11.c3 Ne7 12.Bd3 Nd5
13.Qd2 c5 14.O-O h5 15.Be4 Ra6
16.Bxd5 exd5 17.Rfe1 O-O 18.e4 cxb4
19.cxb4 g5 20.Qxg5+ Qg7 21.Qxd5 d6
22.Qxh5 Bg4 23.Qg5 Qxg5 24.Nxg5 Rc8
25.Re3 f6 26.Nf3 Rc2 27.h3 Bd7
28.Ne1 Rb2 29.Nd3 Rb3 30.Nf4 Rxe3
31.fxe3 Ra8 32.Nd5 Kg7 33.Nxb6 Rg8
34.Nxd7 Kf7 35.Rf1 Rg6 36.e5 dxe5
37.Nxe5+ Kg7 38.Nxg6 Kxg6 39.Rd1 Kf7
40.d5 Ke7 41.d6+ Kd7 42.h4 f5
43.h5 f4 44.exf4 b6 45.h6 Kc6
46.h7 Kb5 47.h8=Q Ka4 48.Qc3 Kb5
49.Rd5+ Ka6 50.b5+ Ka7 51.Qc7+ Ka8
52.Qf7 Kb8 53.Rh5 Kc8 54.Rh8# 1-0

god bless me, god bless me all

ugh... 5 am

so it's like this: i was going to read from my book last night at around 9 or 10, i don't actually remember. i do remember laying in bed and having the thought 'gee, this is kinda cozy'.... then midnight. i had fallen asleep only to wake up at my normal bed time. ok, so i wasn't going to go out last night (it's a week night and i've become terribly boring in my old age)or even do anything interesting but it still feels like i wasted yesterday- like somehow those two hours were the ones that i was going to start writing a book... well guess what? i'm writing right now and it ain't literature and i can't sell it, so boo to that idea. nope, my problem was that i knew this was going to happen as i went back to sleep at midnight... awake at 5 in the morning with nothing to do. not that i had anything to do last night, but being awake and not writing my book last night seemed like a better use of my time than being awake not writing my book right now... so i guess i'll use this time to complain about random stuff:
liiikkke.... hmmm, well how about my laptop? i guess a problem with the processor on my model gets very hot and transfers the heat to the case which melts the glue that holds the rubber stoppers on the bottom of my computer. so now it feels like i'm typing on something that is ice skating.
i'm starting to get the feeling that a TEFL certificate is area specific- i can't imagine that it would be, as it requires no knowledge of a second language, but.... as i was looking up various TEFL camps yesterday, they kept saying once you take this camp you'll be able to teach in madrid or barcelona, or once you take this camp you'll be able to teach in phuket or anywhere else in thailand. shit, i don't even know if i want to spend another year doing this sort of thing... then again getting the TEFL is exactly the sort of thing that would get my a nice cushy job back in the west. i guess i could deal with 2000 euros and all the italian women i could ever want...or spanish women... oh! or german women (i like the beer frau outfit, it's sexy to have a busty girl bring you lots of beer(in a meta sort of way, german girls, take no offence that i think my imaginary readers need to be told how german girls could be hot, but i assume they just get that italian and spanish woman are hot))
i am not using my time to email someone at ku to let them know i want to give them MORE money so i can take some independent study classes while i'm here so i can apply for Teach Across America when i get back to the states and actually have a chance of getting accepted. 18,000 people applied last year and only 3,000 weere accepted, and lets face it, i kinda joked my way through college. my only solace comes from the idea that most of these applicants just have to be english majors who realized (just as i have) that nobody wants to give you a job just because you have an opinion on moby dick and the dubliners. i'll bet a fair number of the 18,000 were philosophy majors as well. i mean i knew i was committing career suicide when i switched from chemistry to creative writing, but still...
i got more but then i wouldn't have anything to write about later...
sucka!

some observations

first off, ugh, i feel bad today- i don't know why, i didn't do anything worthy of devine/biological retribution. so i guess that's why i was less able to handle these people that annoyed me today.

to all the parents: please shut your kids up. please? when i'm at a museum, i'm trying to get my culture on- i don't need to see and hear your out of control kids.

to me: the reason you had trouble saying "methodological" (quick note: spell check didn't have a problem with methodological, so i guess it's an actual word, but still i was trying to mis-use it) is that there is no reason to try to turn the noun methodology into an adjective when you have good, old 'methodical'.

to the hobo-ish guy at the folk museum: listen, i'm not going to be some kind of snob, and sit here and say you shouldn't try to expand yourself. museums are for everyone, i know-- it's just that when you literally smell like shit, well, some of the other museum goers might get a little distracted. just a little food for thought there. your call, though.

to the woman who hit me with her car: yes, the reason i yelled hey and hit the trunk of car with my hand was because you'd thrown your car into reverse and started backing across a SIDEWALK WITHOUT CHECKING FOR PEDESTRIANS!!! if you are not going to look first, it might be a good idea to STOP WHEN YOU HEAR "HEY!" AND A THUD. fortunately i was somewhat prepared and was able to jump back, so it's more like you just nicked me with your car-- though i should still point out that i meant exactly what i said at the time. also, i find myself wishing i had taken a swing at you- the more i think about it the madder i get.

to the korean police dep't: i was kind of wondering why i kept seeing the same dour-faced guy in a black and yellow plaid shirt and jeans, but the weird thing was he kept changing height and places. then i noticed he was wearing an ear piece. then i noticed he was standing beside himself and talking to other officers. kpd, write this down: if all the plain clothes officers wear the same clothes, it's just like wearing a uniform you bought from k-mart.

to the woman who smelled like maple syrup: i have never wanted to kiss somebody so badly in my life. this has been happening an awful lot lately: people with cigarettes, people with hot chocolate, and now, people who smell like maple syrup. i wonder if when i get back to the states, i'll want to make out with people who smell like kimchi...doubt it.

to all the rest of you: see ya later

Here's my first photo

i have neither a camera nor a scanner so i can't actually torture you people with pictures and sketches that show how "deep" i am and how "boundless" my composition skills are. my excuse for taking so long to publish again is that i needed cindy to show me where this photo was stored so i could email it to myself. without further ado:



starting at the top left: lion is in the blue shirt, cindy is holding him, tiger is directly front of lion, clara is the girl in the pink who is far more interested in the cake than anything else, david is behind her and is the only one smiling at the camera, i don't know who that dude in the cool baldrey family t-shirt is-- but he seems to rock, the girl beside clara is courtney, june is in the green shirt, and behind him is edward.

yes this is the end of this post, but don't worry, this is the korean equivalent of thanksgiving-- in that it's a fall holiday that people take off of work, i don't think the koreans have a holiday about befriending a group of people until you've learned from them how to survive in an untamed land, and then persecuting them relentlessly with brutality rape, murder, theft, and forced relocation for literally hundreds of years-- so i will have lots of free time to write and wax poetic...

hello, hello, hello

i wasn't going to talk about work, but this has just got to be said. parents, if your child has socially crippling psychological problems, please get him the proper help. guess what? i'm not a child psychologist. i don't actually know what to do or how to react when a kid tries to gag himself after i tell him that no, he can't go have some water now because that is what the break is for. he just stuck out his finger, jammed down his throat, and gave that body shudder that happens right before somebody yaks. so yes, parents, if your child leaves a dangling modifier, i can help. if your child is action-packed with issues... well, it's not like right after my highschool crash course of cpr, they gave us psycho-analysis lessons.

ah, here's to biting off more than i can chew. cheers. cheers to all. still learning how to draw. i started my plan of going to deoksugung palace to draw buildings every weekend. it was a great way to spend 2 hours on sunday. plus, i did take the time to talk to the people who came and talked to me. kudos to me.

however, i think some anti-kudos have to be given to me as well- sad, i know, but i deserve them. even as i write this, i am breaking my self-improvement regiment: i should be taking this hour to do my korean lesson. also, last night, as i sat at "Sand-presso", my new favorite place, i wasn't translating sentences from korean into english. i don't remember the last time i played a game of chess or studied it. and to day is the 3rd day in a row that i skipped working out. and i talked myself into buying soda yesterday, even though i have been trying to quit. now guess what? i'm going to throw one more log onto the fire. i found a nice little nylon stringed classical guitar last night for 180,000 won. it's probably about $60 too much, but i'm actually in a position now where i can waste a little bit of money. i can't wait until i start ignoring that too.

Same Korean Time, Same Korean Channel

well, well, well. I've introduced a new class for the last forty-five minutes of superkids' class every friday: multi-media generalization- visual and listening re-reinforcement... we watch movies. at least i feel like the kids pay attention to the lion king longer than they listen to me.

well, well, well, again. last week a girl who had asked when she started to get october off, and who had reminded the administration every month since, was given her time off... early... and was told that she'd have to wait and see if there would be room for her in november. which is to say they fired her. also last week, a girl was asked to teach at a time she had told them she could not. admin said either show up for the class or quit. she quit. yesterday, another girl was asked into the office to sign some post dated official reprimands about the way she dressed (it should be noted that she was the best dresser in the office, and while she is extraordinarily hot, it's not really that she was dressing to inappropriately, she'd look good in a potato sack). she refused, and it was a good thing too, because it turns out those reprimands were just enough to fire her without notice. as it is she was given til the september (or october, most of this is from the grapevine). since she was not here today, i guess she told them they could have until the end of "fuck off." what all of these three girls have in common is that they were young, women, and fairly vocal about their displeasure over the new IA director's ability. Strikes 1, 2, and 3 in standard korean business practice. it doesn't help that the new director is actually inept...almost to the point of being criminal.

so- three teachers are gone, three teaching loads are waiting for three new teachers... except those three teachers are nowhere to be seen. this could be because no one ever went looking for new teachers before they started firing old teachers.

my one recurring thought over these past few days is "this is what a sinking ship feels like, this is what a sinking ship feels like" i have got to make my way to pohang...

King of getting by.

i hate my ex. and while there are always many reasons to hate ex'es (especially ones you still kind of pine for)this it's, well, more like i'm jealous of her. she moved to korea. i hoped she would but i always kinda thought she'd chicken out. she's been here for what? 3 weeks? she's already gone out and started exploring the nightlife and making friends. granted she's in a city in which you can actually run into people she's met before. but the fact remains that i'm a complete wuss. my "wait and see" approach to making friends and girlfriends hasn't worked like it usually does. actually it hasn't worked in two years... more like i haven't let it work. when people ask me to come out and play, i make excuses and hem and haw. and if i do go out i hide in some way or another. it used to be cigarettes, but i quit those, so now it's become painfully obvious even to me that i'm hiding behind something instead of interacting like a real person. then i act all hurt and shocked that after awhile people stop asking me out... internally of course, its not like i could actually bring myself to open up to other people. so what's wrong with me? why am i writing these questions on a blog that nobody reads instead of actually asking myself? yikes.

on the plus side, self improvement isn't completely out of the question. i bought some busts, a wooden hand, a new note book, and some color pencils. they didn't have the bust i wanted though. when i went to the store a few months ago, they had a super generic bust that had slight bumps and impressions where facial features are. less that, i decided to buy one of Cesar and one of a girl in a hat. i also bought a black, gray (yes, of course i could have just pressed a little lighter on the black to make gray), white, yellow, red and blue. i was hoping that i could just mix the primary colors to get the other colors, and to a certain extent you can, but i guess if i want orange, i need to buy it. oh well.

i found my new favorite place! deoksugung palace. if you ever get the chance to go there, do it!!! it is a refuge of peace in this city. my new plan is to go there every week end, pick something to draw, and do it. and if anyone talks to me, i'm going to make sure to talk back. of course the fact that i'm going to be hunched over a pad drawing is 'hiding' isn't lost on me-- but i think it's more acceptable in an historic setting like the palace. if i tried that shit in a bar, then yeah, definite hiding.

hmm 12 days

i should have written on sunday night, but mostly i felt like being self-defeated and in bed in a city that is at least 7 million people too big... if i had, though, this probably would have only been a foot note in the third post (presumably the 3rd one, remember the low expectations)

kid A:"luke-teacher, what the answer to number 2?"

me: "ah, 'to be', now i know it's not on the irregular verb sheet, but remember? we studied 'to be' all be itself. Now these are the present tense conjugations of be" (write write write) "ok, now we've seen this before, does anyone remember how to turn these into past tense?"

kid E: "was?...and were?"

me: "that's right: 'was' is the answer to number 2."

kid A: " luke teach--"

kid B: "mr. luk--"

kid C: "--teacher?"

me: "yes, kids?"

kid C: "what's #2?"

me: "you're kidding, right? what did kid E just say? what did i just say before you interrupted?"

(silence silence silence kid D looks vacant)

me: "ok, ok-- how about this? today i am a teacher. yesterday i ....... a teacher."

kids A,B,C, and D: ...

me: "alright let's do this together." (write write write) "so this is the past conjugation of be. right here where i'm pointing. so if today i am a teacher, then yesterday i ....... a teacher.--anybody?"

(silence silence silence)

"ok, so kid E told you the answer, i told you the answer, i even wrote it down and pointed to it- what else can i do? 'was' is the answer. i'm am saying it right now: 'was' is the answer. look! i am pointing to it right now! write 'was' or 'were' or 'was/were' any combination will work..."

(I underline and circle 'was'in red)
(kid A looks confused...then excited)

kid A: "#2? what the answ-"

me: "A!!! look at me. everyone stop. just STOP!!! look at teacher! ok listen to me: 'was' is the answer to #2. 'was' 'was' 'was' pick up your pencils, look at the number 2, next to it i want you to write 'was', write 'was', do it now, write 'was'. why are you still looking at me? look at your paper and write 'was'..."

kid C: "luke teach-"

me: " NO! stop it" (i crouch down and my voice gets fierce and quiet) "write the word ' was' right now. here! watch as i do it on the board."

(W) (A) (S)

well they wrote down the word was. then they proceeded to finish the rest of the sheet is 5 five minutes. sure, it took 10 to write down was, but everything else was easy... wankers. ok, so i cracked at them- one of them had got me sick, i was just starting to feel it, and this was my first full day back after a mostly nice (and so far only) weekend out of the city-- so yeah, i was primed to be a dick.

fortunately i spent yesterday sweating the virus out of me wrapped in blankets. i knew i was a stone's throw away from screaming at the kids. the nice thing about being immobile and physically... achy is that it gives you time to think. truths, heretofore unrealized, became self evident. that irascible ding-dong-ditcher opportunity lingers after he knocks and then lets himself where he proceeds to climb square on to your chest, stick his fat, stubby, cocktail dog looking finger in your face and says "it's about damn time you figured it out." now, while we all know opportunity is infamous for smelling like raw ass, that didn't stop him from being right-- it was about time. i really do have to be nicer to the kids and nicer to myself too.

Hello I'm back again...

And this time form Seoul. Mmm- Seoul. Well I think it's been about a year since I last posted, and thankfully it looks like my old blog has gone up in smoke. Which is ok because I think that I was running out of steam. Mostly i was just trying to hide what I really think while wearing my heart on my sleeve... or maybe it's the other way around. Either way, I'm too good at it. Personally I have low expectations for this blog as well. On the plus side, I've given up ciggarettes. No smokes for 3 months and i only occassionally feel an irresistable urge to mug passing by smokers for a cig. twice i've gone out looking for cigars, but had no luck finding any- though i guess that means i am lucky. I find myself more and more impressed with people who can go out into the world, whether that means moving to a new state or a foreign country- really anybody who is willing to change their life in a significant way, now that i am experiencing it for myself. Though to be honest, I feel more like I'm hiding myself from my own life in the world, rather than exploring it. It must be true that the where doesn't matter as much as the who. I think perhaps douglas coupland has just had an instense urge to grin smuggly for no apparent reason-- i hope he gets run over by a mini-couper. mmm, now that makes me want to grin smuggly...