Same Korean Time, Same Korean Channel

well, well, well. I've introduced a new class for the last forty-five minutes of superkids' class every friday: multi-media generalization- visual and listening re-reinforcement... we watch movies. at least i feel like the kids pay attention to the lion king longer than they listen to me.

well, well, well, again. last week a girl who had asked when she started to get october off, and who had reminded the administration every month since, was given her time off... early... and was told that she'd have to wait and see if there would be room for her in november. which is to say they fired her. also last week, a girl was asked to teach at a time she had told them she could not. admin said either show up for the class or quit. she quit. yesterday, another girl was asked into the office to sign some post dated official reprimands about the way she dressed (it should be noted that she was the best dresser in the office, and while she is extraordinarily hot, it's not really that she was dressing to inappropriately, she'd look good in a potato sack). she refused, and it was a good thing too, because it turns out those reprimands were just enough to fire her without notice. as it is she was given til the september (or october, most of this is from the grapevine). since she was not here today, i guess she told them they could have until the end of "fuck off." what all of these three girls have in common is that they were young, women, and fairly vocal about their displeasure over the new IA director's ability. Strikes 1, 2, and 3 in standard korean business practice. it doesn't help that the new director is actually inept...almost to the point of being criminal.

so- three teachers are gone, three teaching loads are waiting for three new teachers... except those three teachers are nowhere to be seen. this could be because no one ever went looking for new teachers before they started firing old teachers.

my one recurring thought over these past few days is "this is what a sinking ship feels like, this is what a sinking ship feels like" i have got to make my way to pohang...

King of getting by.

i hate my ex. and while there are always many reasons to hate ex'es (especially ones you still kind of pine for)this it's, well, more like i'm jealous of her. she moved to korea. i hoped she would but i always kinda thought she'd chicken out. she's been here for what? 3 weeks? she's already gone out and started exploring the nightlife and making friends. granted she's in a city in which you can actually run into people she's met before. but the fact remains that i'm a complete wuss. my "wait and see" approach to making friends and girlfriends hasn't worked like it usually does. actually it hasn't worked in two years... more like i haven't let it work. when people ask me to come out and play, i make excuses and hem and haw. and if i do go out i hide in some way or another. it used to be cigarettes, but i quit those, so now it's become painfully obvious even to me that i'm hiding behind something instead of interacting like a real person. then i act all hurt and shocked that after awhile people stop asking me out... internally of course, its not like i could actually bring myself to open up to other people. so what's wrong with me? why am i writing these questions on a blog that nobody reads instead of actually asking myself? yikes.

on the plus side, self improvement isn't completely out of the question. i bought some busts, a wooden hand, a new note book, and some color pencils. they didn't have the bust i wanted though. when i went to the store a few months ago, they had a super generic bust that had slight bumps and impressions where facial features are. less that, i decided to buy one of Cesar and one of a girl in a hat. i also bought a black, gray (yes, of course i could have just pressed a little lighter on the black to make gray), white, yellow, red and blue. i was hoping that i could just mix the primary colors to get the other colors, and to a certain extent you can, but i guess if i want orange, i need to buy it. oh well.

i found my new favorite place! deoksugung palace. if you ever get the chance to go there, do it!!! it is a refuge of peace in this city. my new plan is to go there every week end, pick something to draw, and do it. and if anyone talks to me, i'm going to make sure to talk back. of course the fact that i'm going to be hunched over a pad drawing is 'hiding' isn't lost on me-- but i think it's more acceptable in an historic setting like the palace. if i tried that shit in a bar, then yeah, definite hiding.

hmm 12 days

i should have written on sunday night, but mostly i felt like being self-defeated and in bed in a city that is at least 7 million people too big... if i had, though, this probably would have only been a foot note in the third post (presumably the 3rd one, remember the low expectations)

kid A:"luke-teacher, what the answer to number 2?"

me: "ah, 'to be', now i know it's not on the irregular verb sheet, but remember? we studied 'to be' all be itself. Now these are the present tense conjugations of be" (write write write) "ok, now we've seen this before, does anyone remember how to turn these into past tense?"

kid E: "was?...and were?"

me: "that's right: 'was' is the answer to number 2."

kid A: " luke teach--"

kid B: "mr. luk--"

kid C: "--teacher?"

me: "yes, kids?"

kid C: "what's #2?"

me: "you're kidding, right? what did kid E just say? what did i just say before you interrupted?"

(silence silence silence kid D looks vacant)

me: "ok, ok-- how about this? today i am a teacher. yesterday i ....... a teacher."

kids A,B,C, and D: ...

me: "alright let's do this together." (write write write) "so this is the past conjugation of be. right here where i'm pointing. so if today i am a teacher, then yesterday i ....... a teacher.--anybody?"

(silence silence silence)

"ok, so kid E told you the answer, i told you the answer, i even wrote it down and pointed to it- what else can i do? 'was' is the answer. i'm am saying it right now: 'was' is the answer. look! i am pointing to it right now! write 'was' or 'were' or 'was/were' any combination will work..."

(I underline and circle 'was'in red)
(kid A looks confused...then excited)

kid A: "#2? what the answ-"

me: "A!!! look at me. everyone stop. just STOP!!! look at teacher! ok listen to me: 'was' is the answer to #2. 'was' 'was' 'was' pick up your pencils, look at the number 2, next to it i want you to write 'was', write 'was', do it now, write 'was'. why are you still looking at me? look at your paper and write 'was'..."

kid C: "luke teach-"

me: " NO! stop it" (i crouch down and my voice gets fierce and quiet) "write the word ' was' right now. here! watch as i do it on the board."

(W) (A) (S)

well they wrote down the word was. then they proceeded to finish the rest of the sheet is 5 five minutes. sure, it took 10 to write down was, but everything else was easy... wankers. ok, so i cracked at them- one of them had got me sick, i was just starting to feel it, and this was my first full day back after a mostly nice (and so far only) weekend out of the city-- so yeah, i was primed to be a dick.

fortunately i spent yesterday sweating the virus out of me wrapped in blankets. i knew i was a stone's throw away from screaming at the kids. the nice thing about being immobile and physically... achy is that it gives you time to think. truths, heretofore unrealized, became self evident. that irascible ding-dong-ditcher opportunity lingers after he knocks and then lets himself where he proceeds to climb square on to your chest, stick his fat, stubby, cocktail dog looking finger in your face and says "it's about damn time you figured it out." now, while we all know opportunity is infamous for smelling like raw ass, that didn't stop him from being right-- it was about time. i really do have to be nicer to the kids and nicer to myself too.

Hello I'm back again...

And this time form Seoul. Mmm- Seoul. Well I think it's been about a year since I last posted, and thankfully it looks like my old blog has gone up in smoke. Which is ok because I think that I was running out of steam. Mostly i was just trying to hide what I really think while wearing my heart on my sleeve... or maybe it's the other way around. Either way, I'm too good at it. Personally I have low expectations for this blog as well. On the plus side, I've given up ciggarettes. No smokes for 3 months and i only occassionally feel an irresistable urge to mug passing by smokers for a cig. twice i've gone out looking for cigars, but had no luck finding any- though i guess that means i am lucky. I find myself more and more impressed with people who can go out into the world, whether that means moving to a new state or a foreign country- really anybody who is willing to change their life in a significant way, now that i am experiencing it for myself. Though to be honest, I feel more like I'm hiding myself from my own life in the world, rather than exploring it. It must be true that the where doesn't matter as much as the who. I think perhaps douglas coupland has just had an instense urge to grin smuggly for no apparent reason-- i hope he gets run over by a mini-couper. mmm, now that makes me want to grin smuggly...